5 Tips for Dating with a Spiritual and Growth Mindset
Ok so an app may be a little out of reach at the moment. But that doesn’t mean we can’t use the resources that we do have to build a community of like-minded people to meet one another in a casual online setting. So that’s what I’ve done with the new Facebook Group that I’ve created (found here —> https://www.facebook.com/share/g/14kiyLaJPAT/). I’ve put together a small space where we can meet others who are interested in learning more (as I journey with you) about how we can meet someone aligned with who we really are.
To kick off this week, I decided to put together a list of criteria for myself as I venture into the world of online dating again. This is my best advice from trying and failing at making some relationships fit where they simply could not. This is after years and years of study in personal growth and spiritual development. This is what I believe we all need to keep in mind first and foremost.
#1 Put as much care and attention into your profile as you will the person!
This is a tough one because those of us who are in the dating world just want to get on with it and attract a partner. Or maybe we just want to attract someone to talk to and get to know, and that’s fine to. But you have to think about who you really want to attract and how much time you’re willing to waste “chatting” to sift out people who will not resonate with you. So my advice is to take your time and truly put thought into each aspect of your dating profile.
#2 Do not lower your standards to avoid being lonely!
This, my friends, is one of the hardest life lessons that I’ve had to learn these past three years. I have done everything in my absolute power until recently to avoid being alone. I simply didn’t want to do it. But if you start dating from this point of view then your standards are undoubtedly going to sink as you soak into the desperation of it. You have to be ok with being alone so that you can be PATIENT enough to WAIT for the right person. You do not want to waste years and months of your life with a person or people only to learn that you could have saved you all time by learning more about yourself and what you want before bringing someone on the scene.
#3 Ensure their dating goals align with yours.
Would you believe me if I told you that I, as a spiritual person, spent a great deal of my life not only trying to make a relationship work with someone who did not believe in a higher power but I chased that person for how they made me feel. I am giving myself grace on this one now, and have forgiven myself for the error of my ways but to think of this now is crazy. You need to make sure that things that are truly important to you are accepted and embraced by the person that you want to spend your time with.
#4 Ensure your photos reflect & portray who you really are.
For heaven’s sake if you can’t hike anymore (*ahem, Katrina), then stop promising long walks on the beach at sunset or a waterfall and show up where you know you will want to. If those old photos aren’t you any longer then don’t put them there. This is why you have to be ok with being with yourself. If you’re not ok with who you are as you are and try to be something that you’re not then you will run into issues later. And your heart will be broken. And I don’t want you to get your heart broken. I want you to attract the partner that is going to love the real authentic version of you. I had it once. I hope that I”ll find it again. But I now won’t settle for someone who is attracted to an outdated version of myself who thought that she had to attract by acting sexually appealing. If you’re not happy with the new you, then work to change that for you. Again, it all starts with you and how you feel about yourself.
#5 Take your time. This is not a race. You’re going to spend your life with this person so you want to ensure they’re about the same things you are.
Patience is not my friend. I swear I hate being patient. I know you know that. But I can’t emphasize this enough: you must spend time in the alone before you get out there. And you must be ok with that in order to be patient. There’s not much more I can say on that one. Speaking of the Alone. That’s another post that I meant to write, maybe next time. Until then, much love and happy exploring to find the holiest of companions! xoxo
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